Thursday, November 6, 2008

Is Your Marriage On Shakey Ground?

"The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My [God's] purpose is to give life in all its fullness" (St. John 10:10 NTL).

Is your marriage on shaky grounds? Do you feel like the only solution to your marital problem is separation?

The devil is a liar. He knows it and takes pride in the fact that he's crowned the king of deception he'll have you believe your marriage is over. And that's his sole purpose on earth to deceive. You cannot allow this deception to become your reality. The enemy didn't want you to get married in the first place, so he will try everything possible to have your marriage dissolved. But be encouraged today: God promised you life, not death. So do not believe the lies that the enemy brings to destroy your marriage. It's time to claim your marriage back, in Jesus' name.

If you have been going through the motions, now is the time to start the process of re-kindling the flames. Don't wait for your spouse to make the first move you are ONE and the end result will benefit you both.

God promised you life in all its fullness. But the devil had you all confused you believe this life is not for you, never was and never will be. So you settle for 'just getting by'; playing the survival game. You embrace the struggle and refuse to let go. You're not happy, but for a peaceful life you keep quiet and continue with the chores.

God promised you life in all its fullness (St. John 10:10) and His promise is true. What He says, He'll do. Claim it in Jesus' name. Believe on His Word and it will come to pass. Being on shaky grounds, it will be hard work trying to reclaim your marriage, but it can be done if you are doing it in His strength and not yours. So make up your mind to put on the whole armour of God, according to Ephesians 6:10-18, and go claim what is rightfully yours.

If your spouse is not walking in the light or the devil seems to have grabbed hold of your children, you can claim back what is yours. You often hear: 'Take back what the devil has stolen from you.' Now it is time to believe it and receive it. Claim your husband or wife back Get down on your knees and intercede on behalf of your spouse. The devil is a liar and he is very convincing with it, so you can easily fall prey to his ways if you are not fully focused on the ways of Christ.

Consult the Word of God for your daily guide. That will help you keep God centre of your marriage and look to God for all the answers instead of running to man. Men will always let you down. "Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart" (Colossians 4:2).

Your weakness in Christ is the energy source by which the enemy's power is charged. So it is vital that you put on the whole armour of God the entire outfit, in order to defeat the enemy.

"What God joins together let no one put apart". Take your spouse back.. Rediscover the emotions that first brought you together claim your love back! If your union have been blessed with the gift of a child or children, things may not always run smooth at home but don't allow it to kill your marriage.

Your marriage needs to take priority, after God. This is the foundation that keeps your children grounded. A stable marriage will produce more rounded and focused children; it is a fertilizer for their growth which produces confidence in them. They learn from example and home is the number one training ground for their developing minds.

If your marriage is unstable it is the children that suffers most, for when the parents aren't happy in their relationship they cannot offer full parental care, and the children will get neglected in one or more areas of their lives. This neglect will follow them into their adult years and history often repeats itself. If either parent were neglected as a child this is where the 'buck' should stop. Now that you are adults you know what scars you bear from your unstable home. It is time to deal with it, release it and move on into a new future so that you can be the best parent to your children. They should not pay for what your parents did to you. They are a blessing to you and they are entrusted in your care until they can care for themselves.

As a mother, I know that if the mother is not well, the entire family suffers and so it is important that mother is taken care of. This is where the husband needs to set an example for his children, sons in particular. The role of the husband is to lead in his home, caring for his wife and children, providing for them and protecting them. This role involves showing respect for his wife and being sure to cater to her physical, emotional and spiritual needs. In all this, being careful to represent Christ in his decisions and knowing that he will give an account to God for his action. We are reminded of this in Colossians 3:19 "You husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly." To neglect his duty in this area can find that there is a role reversal in the home which is a perfect recipe for placing a marriage on shaky grounds.

The wife is then called to honour her husband and enrich his life. Again in Colossians 3:18 the wife is given an order: "You wives must submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord." She should give her husband no reason to distrust her as Proverbs 31:10 highlights. It is her duty to help him all his life and not hinder him in carrying out his role, in any way. "When she speaks, her words are wise and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions." (Proverbs 31:26)

It is then a combined role, as parents, to cater for the children's need in a similar manner.

When you train up your children according to God's instructions it becomes easy for them to submit to the teachings of Colossians 3:20, which states: "You children must always obey your parents, for this is what pleases the Lord."

It is important to dedicate the children to God and continually pray for them; placing them under the protection of Jesus Christ. If they stray from the right path, claim them from the hands of the devil and his angels (they won't wander too far, if you have done your part in training them up according to the instructions in the bible). Children are gifts from God and should be treated as such. So care for them and train them up the way they should grow, as we are reminded to do, in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 and again in Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21.

See your children as blessings of your union the fruit of your love. And allow this knowledge to pull you closer together and to God the one who presented you with the gift of a child or of children.

Give God thanks for the work He is doing in your marriage and allow Him to complete the work in His timing. There are many lessons to learn on this journey and the process cannot be rushed or the value in the lesson will be lost, and healing will be delayed. Soon you'll be making the same mistakes again and paying similar consequences. When your marriage is back on track, keep praising God and He will continue to pour out the blessings on you. It will then train you up for when the rough patches return and so with your grateful heart springing constant praise, the struggles won't have an opportunity to develop or linger, should they return.

Men: Be happy with the wife of your youth she's a delicate flower.

Ladies: Respect the man God blessed you with He is your leader.

To both of you I encourage you to continue to loving each other the way God intended and do not fall prey to the tricks set to trap you. I pray God's blessings upon your marriage and may you have many happy moments with each other.

Article Source: WRITERS

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Ten Rules For A Successful Marriage

1. You must marry the right person, one you love, and one who loves you, and both of you must be in love with Jesus Christ.

2. GIVE and TAKE is a necessity. Let love cover the
disagreements which will come in any marriage.

3. Never carry into tomorrow the petty troubles of today.

Forgive at the end of the day, and then forget.

4. Don't discuss your disagreement and personal problems
with others. You will soon forget these quarrels,
but others will remember them. Go to the Lord for

5. Try to live within your financial means. Don't
try to keep up with some other couple; keep within your income. And be sure to set aside something for the Lord's work.

6. Keep your love as romantic as possible. Appreciate
each other. Express that appreciation in actual
love and affection in the home.

7. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER even think of divorce as a
solution for your marriage problems. You took
your vows until death do us part. So often
divorce never settles anything!

8. Keep your eyes on the person you have married,
and don't bother looking around for someone else.
Wandering eyes benefit no marriage.

9. Read God's Word and pray together every day. To
pray together is to stay together.

10. Let Christ shed the love of God abroad in your
heart, and you will be sure to have his love for
each other.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Secondary PTSD

I really feel moved to post this link about secondary PTSD.

Many wives are dealing with a form of PTSD due to the war on terror.

PTSD symptoms include:

  • Avoiding thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma
  • Avoiding activities, places, or people that remind you of the trauma
  • Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
  • Loss of interest in activities and life in general
  • Feeling detached or estranged from other people
  • Feeling emotionally numb, especially toward loved ones
  • Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)
Here are a few quotes from this terrific article:

Basically, when you're living with a veteran who has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, you become his (or her) caretaker. You slip into a role, without even noticing it, that has you constantly watching for people or circumstances that might "set him off."

Secondary PTSD may make you feel overly angry, depressed, exhausted (but, alas, unable to sleep), overwhelmed, and just plain unhappy with the world around you.

HERE is a link to a very informative article on Secondary PTSD and how it effects military wives. Please, check it out @

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Thinking Big For Your Marriage

Thinking Big For Your Marriage Is Not Magic by Angie Lewis

Big thinkers usually have tons of ideas floating around inside their heads. Some big thinkers don't produce anything with their ideas, while others go for it with gusto. Is there really magic involved in thinking big or can anyone do it?

People don't possess magic, they posses character and determination. There is no magic involved in succeeding in life or having a great marriage. Anyone can do it if they put their heart and soul into it. The magic David Schwartz refers to in his book, The Magic of Thinking Big is the magic of realizing the power of God within you and applying that power into your life. Anyone can have determination, commitment, and ambition, but a lot of people don't set their minds on those things and so never reach their aspirations.

Have you ever wondered why most corporate millionaires can't seem to stay married for long? Does it mean they do not have character? It may be in their heart to have determination and commitment to making lots of money but they have no dedication for marriage. It is the same way with celebrities. They think big only to the extent of what they actually want out of life. Most celebrities have this strong need to be in the limelight and that is why they are in show business. Their focus is greatly limited to themselves. Loving and caring for another is a difficult thing for them.

Corporate big wheels aren't focused on the logistics of keeping a relationship together; it is the furthest thing from their mind. Their number one priority is making more money, even though they don't need it. It is an addiction of desire to want more than you would ever need or spend in a lifetime. Seventy five million dollars is not enough for these kind of big thinkers. Maybe ten billion will do the trick. They strive to make more and more money, while their other half is resentful, lonely and unloved. They will never have the satisfaction of knowing what real abundance in life really is, or to feel the satisfaction of contentment in their soul.

If you want a great marriage, you have to think big for it too! But marriage needs more than just being a big thinker. Marriage needs two big thinkers who are willing to sacrifice for each other. Only those who apply the power of God into their life can do that.We all have the power to accept God's truth for our marriage and yet, most people never realize the spiritual potential within them. We become big thinkers and we become the very best we can be when we have accepted the fruit of the Spirit into our life. It is really that simple. There is no magic involved.

The fruits of the spirit are the abundance of life. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)Wherever you put your heart and soul, there is where your abundance will lie.

Angie Lewis is the author of four marriage books offering marriage tips and wisdom filled answers tackling such issues as addiction, adultery, pornography, emotions, beliefs, forgiveness, communication and much, much more.

Adultery Pandemic is Angie's latest book. Turn Your Marriage Into A Success! If you want to restore your marriage from the demoralizing effects of adultery, then look no further - this is the book for you! Your Marriage Can Be Restored!

A treasure book filled with effective guidance for your marriage from forgiveness and trust to recommitting your lives to each other again. Practical and easy-to-read, this book combines the solutions and remedies your marriage needs towards recovery. This book will give you the guidance you need to discover the true secrets to a happy, lifelong marriage.

To preview these books go here:
Marriage Resources-

These are not paid ads... just something I thought you might be interested in checking out. :)

Sunday, April 20, 2008

One Flesh

Our church has been doing a series on Marriage Relationships. You can listen to the messages online - I really urge you to!

My husband and I sit and poke each other throughout almost every sermon. We smile, sometimes laugh - and sometimes cry at the very good points being made during this series.

Check it out for yourselves...

Manna Church

Go to: Resources

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Dirty Wounds

By: Colleen Saffron

Dirty wounds is a term I became familiar with when my husband returned from Iraq. For the life of me, I could not figure out why they would not stitch up his arm and other injuries he had and let them heal.

Lucky for me, my husband had fantastic doctors and they explained to me, that when someone has an injury like his, where there was so much damage and the tearing shredding etc was done by shrapnel that was forced into him form a garbage pile with dirt, cloth other body parts some from other people etc then you cannot just stitch it up.
These are what you call dirty wounds. Unlike a basic cut you cannot just stitch them up and allow them to heal, nooooooo instead you must take them into a sterile place on a regular basis (often daily) and open the wound back up and scrub it out while cutting out any rotten and destroyed flesh so that it does not contaminate and infect the healthy tissue.
The process of cleaning and allowing a dirty wound to heal is painful, long and truthfully a bit yucky. It requires a constant examining to make sure that there is absolutely no chance that something rotten is left to in any way fester inside the body and destroy the healing process down the line. The doctor told me stories of Vietnam era wounds where they were closed up and a year later an infection would erupt that would kill the soldier from what seemed to be a healed wound.
So, what on earth am I telling you this for??? Why does it matter? Well, in marriage we can very easily close up a dirty wound and then 2 months or 2 years later have an eruption that destroys what seems to be a healthy relationship.
When a spouse wounds us with words or deed (or we do it to them) we tend to want to pretend there is no contamination or no in jury so we will simply ignore what is happening. We cannot allow deep hurts to go untouched by a physician, The Great Physician. We must bring these things, these hurts to our lord daily, hourly if need be and allow him cleanse the infected area and cut away and heal the area that is hurt in order for us to truly heal in a way that will best allow us to move forward healthy and not needing to return with a worse problem later.
Now, as a woman I often want to put these things in front of my husband and examine them in depth with him and expect him to be the one to fix them. To an extent that is OK but really, my husband does not have the ability to heal me or fix me only the Lord Jesus does. My husband can be a balm on those wounds by showing me repentance and asking forgiveness but I cannot lay at his feet the responsibility of him healing me.
I just encourage you as wives, when the wounds that are part of marriage happen, and trust me they will, that you do not try closing up a dirty wound but instead take it to your Lord allow him to take you into that sterile (Holy) place and cleanse and cut away all the bitterness, hurt and infection of that wound so that when the time comes for it to be closed it is a healthy skin there and not something simply festering under the surface waiting to blow.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

In Sickness, and In Health

I have heard about so many soldiers who have been wounded from the war on terror. This causes stress on wives and families. Some wives work, some have children and work - but, whatever the case - a wounded soldier brings on change to the families.

Some cases, the wife may have to drive their soldier to and from doctors appointments - back and forth to work and other places he may need to go.

Some soldiers have been severly hurt, while others not "as bad."

Whatever the case, it is still a difficult road to recovery to the family. Things are not "the same" as they used to be.

Sometimes your soldier is emotionally hurt from the war. Some injuries are outward and some are internal injuries.

You will have rough days, and great days... give your worries over to Christ. Remember, there are others out there like you - and there is help from many different organizations. Please do not try to take the journey alone. It's okay to ask for help... and it is perfectly okay to seek help!

Here are a few uplifting verses:

My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. (Exodus 33:14)

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9-10)

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11: 28-31)

Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest. (Luke 12:25-26)